What if things didn’t get back to normal? Well, think. Nothing. It’s as if it’s the farthest thing from mind now. Thoughts are so hard to grasp… Feelings? What if my feelings changed? Then I don’t wanna hear the end of the story. I’m gonna end up alone again. And him?! I wouldn’t try to care. Nah-ah.
I couldn’t concentrate in studying! Scanning notes and actually absorbing the ideas in your head are two different things. In my mind I said, shut up!I couldn’t focus. and my phone indeed shut up. No messages. No endless ringing. No nothing. And I’ve been constantly looking at my phone’s lcd for about 2 hours while in the study hall. Sheesh.
My classmate [member of "the nerds"] strike up a conversation with me before I left the classroom. He said that he chanced upon my former classmate in high school yesterday in an org meeting and I was the only one they talked about. Huh?! “Tinanong niya nga ako kung makulit ka pa rin daw, sabi ko…Naku sobra!Buhay nga dugo ng klase pagmag-settle na yan sa classroom eh.” Then I laughed. We laughed. Reminiscing high school days. Hmm…worth talking about din pala ako noh?haha
Why you wanna hurt me so bad
I believed in you, that’s why I’m so mad
Now I’m drowning in disappointment
And it’s hard for me to even look at you
Well, you should have seen me earlier this day. I swept a soft ashen blue eye shadow over my eyelids. I was expecting to have my picture taken at the end of the day…but, no luck. I have to go back some other time. Almost everyone commented on my “smokey eyes effect”. Mitch was the first one. She said, “Wow..smokey eyes pa naman si Sarj. Parang ang hyper mo pero ang lungkot ng dating…pero bagay sayo.” Now what did she mean by that?!… Bagay sa akin ang “malungkot ang dating”? Hmmm…then Aubrey interjected, “Grabe, ang ganda ng mata”…ahh! I felt good. Yeah, thanks for the compliments. But all the while I was feeling a burning sensation at the back of my eyes. No, I didn’t cry. I was happy. I was happy, then the rain poured, the senti music streamed inside the room…and poof! I was transported to senti-mode again. Then someone asked me again, “What are you thinking? You seem so far away…” I smiled and said “Nothing…I was just thinking about the compliments I got today.I never had that much for a day.” Then we laughed. High fives. She went out. By myself again…and this song played in my mind.
[Smoke gets in your eyes]
They, asked me how I knew,
My true love was true,
I of course replied, something here inside,
Can not be denied.
They, said some day you’ll find,
All who love are blind,
When you heart’s on fire, you must realize,
Smoke gets in your eyes.
So I chaffed them, and I gaily laughed,
To think they would doubt our love,
And yet today, my love has gone away,
I am without my love.
Now laughing friends deride,
Tears I cannot hide,
So I smile and say,
“when a lovely flame dies,
Smoke gets in your eyes”
…Smoke gets in your eyes.
Wow…that song is one example of “TAGOS SA LAMAN”.hayy… hold on or let go?
Darn it. I still love him…sad,but true.
