Scribesmeister v4 (In Zero Gravity)

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Originally uploaded by lachrymose.

time to scour the malls!everyone stops and looks at us everytime me pose for a picture.hehe..

…totally electrified to move.

heto na…my anthem is starting to burn in my ears. Whoa, i feel much like an idiot than a fabulous chic.Ahem.:)

My mom keeps nudging me and telling me to “See the signs” and then smiles at me…as if it’s some phantasmagorical phrase that could change my life forever IF I’m so keen to notice. Argh. Maybe she always hears me blabbing about signs signs and all that. Well, before this month kicked off, I asked God to give me a sign (to let me know the right time to move) and a week after I prayed so hard…I saw it - in the most unlikely place; like it was intentionally placed right in front of me to see.

Okay…for those of you wondering what sign I asked for: I asked to give me a sign through a dove (the number should be above two). It doesn’t even have to be real. God could have given me a figurine, picture or whatever. But on the Friday morning, while walking back to my house,these 3 doves crossed the street coming from my left side. The houses along that street almost resemble slum-type scraps of a home…Well, now I could imagine doves living in there. But people actually having doves to feed? I don’t know…Basta, at that point I haven’t realized the sign until I got home and screamed “I saw the sign!” Hahaha… So, hopeful was I.

And…until now, I’m still not getting what I’ve asked for even if I’m doing everything with much exerted and superhuman effort. Argh. Please grant me patience. Patience please. Oh darn, BELIEVE.

Oh man, I’ve never ever cried for my dreams. Never. I could let go of my tears now, but not my dreams. It’s too early to give up.

In a private conversation, I told someone: “I just wanna stop the routine of waking up each day feeling like my life is in stagnancy and wondering how to inch my way to my dreams.”

I mean, dreams give me hope. I wanna do everything, but I don’t have everything I need to sustain myself with fuel to keep up.

Words to live by:
“Don’t believe in your doubts and never doubt your beliefs.Life is wonderful if you know how to live.”

Thanks to Samurai for that. ;p

Gotta fix myself.:)

I’ve decided not to renew the registration for my tag board…to have another tag board.If you have anything to react about or say to me, you can always drop a line to my comments page. That will at least let me know that I actually have readers (an audience). But somehow the feeling of being unnoticed is turning out to be a good one for me.

“The worst way to die is to be ignored” I’m not sure who said this line, but it sure left a good note in my head… I picked it up ages ago, and I still remember.

Grr. If I asked you to kill me, could please just ignore me?
I remember what I told *bleep* last night:

“Pwede bang tigilan mo na ako? wag mo na akong kakausapin pa…wag mo akong tatawagan o i-te-text…basta, wag kang gumawa ng kahit ano para hindi ako masyadong mahirapan. If ever I coudn’t help myself and I sent you a message out of impulse, ignore it. Wag mo akong replyan. Dahil, pagnarereply ka…nawawala galit ko at nagiging okay ako.”

(how could i be more stupid? I shouldn’t have said that last line.)

I think it’s easier to walk away if you have a strong feeling of anger or hate or simply “inis” towards the other person. Pag ganon kasi, nawawalan ka ng reason para mag hold on…right? But just one word from that special person, melts everything away… I know that if you really want to hang on, nothing will stop you from doing so. And if you wanna let go, you will look for all the reason in the world to loosen that grip.

iwan mo man yan, di ka magiging masaya dahil kakainin ka ng galit…at hindi sa taong yun,kundi galit sa sarili mo. Dahil di mo alam kung ano ang dapat at hindi dapat. Ang tama at mali.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

——————————–>change topic

I dreamt that I tear up a page (that page) in my journal and gave it to “Disease” (ahahaha…this is the first time I laughed in 2 days.Okay, disease would be his name.how on earth was i able to come up with that one?)and screamed at him. Well, i couldn’t remember what I said. But my face was full of emotion. My dream was in sepia color. Ganda nga ng effect e. Hay…ka kulay nung mga pictures na nahanap ko sa baul.;p