“I have God’s number…He is a fine gentleman. Would you care to talk to
Him?”
A quote I got from Wild Sheep Chase. It was this one character in that story who was a chauffeur claiming that someone gave him God’s phone number so he could communicate with Him. Another argued that if it’s true, then everybody would be calling God. The lines would be jammed and all you’d get is an angry busy tone. But he simply said that God can talk to anyone simultaneously. He accomodates everyone. He listens. He comforts. He’s always there for you to talk to.
And all you need is the humility to come to Him. The courage to put down your defenses and to admit that you are weak. That you need Him. I’ve always needed him. I know He would answer my prayers in time. And I’m willing to wait. You know, I just can’t imagine life without ever
knowing Him. Without Him serving as my crutches when I feel bruised and can’t seem to hang onto anyone.
Actually, I’m in a spiritual dilemma right now - although indirectly. It’s my friend. Since she told me about “it”, I couldn’t help but to feel involved in this matter. I feel the weight of the abandoned responsibility that is apparently not my own and I don’t know how long I can take it in. Again, it’s the feeling of helplessness crushing me into the spot where I got myself trapped. I do not welcome this compelling forces within me that push me to take actions or otherwise. Hay, I just want to ask God to help her with her decision and through her situation. I really can’t do anything more.
If only I have Your number, I would have given it to her. But since I don’t, please try to call her until she picks up the phone. Please, make her listen.
Finally, the book I spotted at Avalon.ph is mine! I picked it up from the seller this afternoon. I’ve been dying to get my hands on that book since I heard about it from a friend. I have to finish Murakami’s in a flash so I can start with my new books. *sigh* I wish I could get the time this weekend to kick my shoes and strap myself to the poles of the house (to be sure that I wouldn’t start wandering somewhere). And I wish I could resist the incessant invitations to go out. See? A lot of people wants to be with me. What makes you think that I still need a gum to stick to the soles of my flip flops? Haha. Hey, correction (to what you may probably think): that’s not a bitter line. So cut it out!
Darn, I really feel uncomfortable right now. Like I can’t stay a moment longer in this seat. Boo-hoo. I so want to go home. 
But, on the contrary, this day seems to lighten me up. Feels like a warm nestle quik before I hit the sack. Somehow tunes me up and puts me in a good mood.
Still, that doesn’t change the fact that stress keeps dabbing my rose-tinted sheild with dark colors. Managing stress is a toughie, but I’m good at it - mind you.
May technique d’yan. Eto…
Find someone who simply listens while you talk. Indulge in a therapeutic blubber. And then beat the emotional freak in you! Now, you’re ready to wolf down a bowl of banana split (from Le Souffle! Wah, I suddenly remembered the taste! *yum*and the feeling of eating it alone *ouch* and a scene almost painful to watch) and yeah, laugh hysterically at yourself. If you can do that, then you’re perfectly fine. But if you go beyond that, (like when you laugh and cry at the same time and twirl the strands of your hair around your pinky) try a shrink to get you through. Okay? Just remember that suicide is not an option. It’s the only solution. Haha. Just messing with you! 
30 mins to go and I’d be heading to the exit. Now, that’s happiness for me.
November 25:
It was sister’s birthday and Terence’s Christening. Check out the pics at twilite.multiply.com. However, I doubt if you can view it if you don’t have a multiply account. Oh well, I’ll set it to public so everyone could have a piece.:) Anyway, I don’t know what I did that day that made me feel so exhausted. Was it waking up at 7am for the preparation? Was it applying mascara while blow-drying my hair? Was it running around the Baptistry to get a better shot? or maybe laughing the whole time? I didn’t entertain the guests. All I did was eat and take a dump (sus, “eww” all you want). Haha.Yes, I agree. That was ultimately exhausting. With every plate that I’ve polished off, you could just imagine how literally bloated I felt and well, looked. Haha. Lunch at Barrio Fiesta was followed by cases of beer and another long table of cholesterol and sweets served at home. My bro in laws and other guests kept paging me (with the use of the videoke mic) while I was taking a rest upstairs. No choice. I finally budged. Downed 3 bottles of SMB light. And my head started the drill. I just know that I had to bail out and sleep. So that’s it. When I say I’m done, I’m done. No kind or manner of convincing could make me chug another bottle, especially when they’re out of ice! And yeah, before I rushed to the bedroom, I gave them a one last song. “Kung wala ka” by Hale. Yan naman mga katuwaan ng mga lalake
e, yung may nauuto. Haha. Di bale, nauuto ko rin naman sila. Haha. have you forgotten? Lalake rin ako noh.
10 pm was the end of the night for me.
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A quote from an unknown texter crunched my eyebrows. Who is this again? So I sent a message asking for a name. No reply. Okay, no one cares.
I went to mass, someone gave me a flier and it read “Vj’s Party Balloons and Supplies”. Right.After the mass is malling time for me and Ethan. Sm Centerpoint is the nearest one, so my sis and I took him there. There were huge posters of Happy Feet everywhere and I know what I was thinking. But Ethan suddenly blurted out, “uncle vj!” while pointing over to one poster displaying a “happy” penguin with its feet up. Cute. Ethan always remembers Vj as the cuddly big penguin in my life. A penguin who apparently hasn’t found his match yet. Argh, I’m not in need of mnemonics and I don’t take it as a sign.
Later that day, I texted him. Just to say that I remembered him (after all, we’re friends). My phone had no indication of a message from him. Not that I was expecting, I was just hoping he got it. But he didn’t. It was fate. Anything that I might have said, might have been misunderstood if ever he got to read it. So I was thankful that it didn’t reach him. Haha. You wanna know how I learned that he wasn’t able to get it? Because he was the unknown texter who sent me a tacky message earlier. He changed his number. I wonder why he still had to let me know. He could have just kept it a secret. Or he could’ve just texted me without asking me (for the nth time) if I’m already accepting applications for the position of “suitor” in my love department. No, not yet. No one has the guts to enter. But that’s okay, love department is currently undergoing an overhaul. It would probably take a while. Look, I’m tired of answering pointless questions. More than that, I’m tired of trying not to hurt anyone by sinking into this tachycardiac silence.
