*jingling my keys to get attention*
Look, don’t you notice anything (talking to imaginary friends around me.hehe)? It’s my first time to wear a bright pink piece of clothing - my shirt. If you happen to know me personally, I’m not a kikay-barbie-doll-looking girl who adores the color pink especially when I used to wrestle in the mud with boys during my childhood days. Shades of blue has dominated my wardrobe for years until I found comfort in experimenting with colors not so long ago, but more plain ones and less printed.
Nothing wrong with trying something new, right? I put this on not only because Kelly gave it to me, but I wanted to see if it suits me. I should have dabbed a frosted pink lipstick too, don’t you think? Ha! No way! I still want to look man enough to you even with middling finesse. Haha. :P
Well, there are other new stuff that I got for myself and things that came which are absolutely fresh to me and still, in my memory. So, anong bago?
- Hmm, I finally changed my number but that didn’t change anything - well, actually, I just feel crazy and stupid that nothing changed by changing numbers. And it even confuses me a bit. What the hell do I really want? A new number or a new phone? Since I’m not that fond of the free phone that I got from my post-paid plan at Globe, I want to sell it and make use of the money. And since I gave my number unknowingly to people who shouldn’t be having it anymore, I wanted to throw it away and get another one. But then I am afraid that I might do the same thing again and I’d feel even more disgusted with myself. Or maybe all I need is a new life. A new way of seeing things. All right, I might consider wearing glasses next time.
- I’ve had a traumatic experience during Valentine’s day, that’s why starting last year, even when I was still attached, I’d ditch all the plans to go out on that day. You all know that FOOD is my weakness. And waiting in the line while feeling the painful scratching on the walls of your stomach is not my idea of a perfect date! Even when you have a table reserved early on, they serve the food after you go mad. I couldn’t sit comfortably and pretend that I am dying of hunger. So I learned my lesson and fix dinner at home instead. Anyway, this time…Valentine’s Day meant babysitting, taking care of my sick brother and doing errands. I took a load off and stayed with my family. It ain’t that bad, really. Nothing could ruin my day, not even my Mom’s sarcastic text message (Darling, don’t you have a date? Loveless ka ngayon?) or my Dad’s contagious irritability. When I took Ethan to Jollibee, I remembered to BE HAPPY. And it helped.
- And because I wasn’t expecting for anything, everything came as a surprise. Yes, even the Toblerone from Ruben (thanks!) which all of us got. Haha. I got flowers and a gift (a book from Seish). You all made my day. The greetings were overwhelming too. I really appreciate it. So even if it’s a bit embarrassing to walk with flowers and stuff on the way home, I should just think about the embarrassment he got from people when he was carrying those and waiting for me at the lobby. So why should I hide it? For all I know, everyone in the street looks at me with envious eyes. Feeling! haha. Pang Ms. Universe dapat ang lakad! After all, it was my first time that someone actually handed those “cheesiness” to me in front of all the people. And it didn’t matter wherever I was and it was delivered to me personally. When I was in high school, it’s either a proxy would give it to me or have it delivered at home. Talk about torpe! In college, it became a little different. They just go to your house and give it to you. They have cars so they won’t have to be eaten by self-humilation. This time, I find it sweeter.
This feeling is somehow new to me - and that’s strange because it shouldn’t be, yet it is also kind of disappointing that I’m becoming unfamiliar to this. Anyway…
- What else? Oh yeah, this blog is born!
OFFICIAL LAUNCHING DATE: FEBRUARY 16, 2007
Yipee! Blog site anniversary next year!
Sorry, that’s how far I could show my excitement. Haha. I am contented, elated and… psyched. I can say that I am happy even only in this realm of my life that you’re a part of. The other side is, well, depressing. We better not go there. You don’t want to be in that world, because I don’t want to be in it either. Still, I have to take it as it is, right? I can’t do so much as to thank God for all of this - even for the bad part.
The cinematic release of The Holiday in the Philippines came in a little late than expected. Uhuh, we just saw it yesterday and I thank God that it wasn’t shown over the holiday season or I’d go sulking with a bottle of red wine and pan of fruitcake - enough to make me woozy and puke.
This movie isn’t much different from other romantic comedies (Jack Black is a bonus, of course - you know how funny he could be), except that it focuses more on learning about dying and living again. Knowing when to hit the brakes and rev up your life. Just a warning, don’t watch this when you’re feeling lonely. Although the lovely British accent could cheer you up a bit, the opening lines could break you down. :D
Anyway, here’s my favorite part:
Miles (Jack Black): Why do I always fall for the bad ones?
Iris (Kate Winslet): I happen to know the answer to this one…Because you’re hoping you’re wrong. And every time she does something that tells you she’s no good, you ignore it. And every time she comes through and suprises you, she wins you over, and you lose that argument with yourself, that she’s not for you.
If some people could relate to the very evocative narration on the “cruelest” kind of love which is unrequited love, this one apparently struck me, amplified by the last line. Losing all sense of reason turns out to be a pre-requisite to loving. You really come up with all sort of excuses just to make yourself feel better or even just to make everything glimmer in the dark side of holding on to the feeling of, pressumably, love. And each time I think about it, I become better at practicing the law of resistance and I convince myself more, that I should not let emotions stop any mental activity that could save me from another heartbreak. As of now, I’d rather be cynical than madly in love. But I’d like to be swept away again whenever luck slips back to my side again. Hopefully, by that time, I’d be equipped with thick bandages, nylon threads doused in anesthesia and scar remover for a stenting surgery.
At the moment, let’s just enjoy the company of friends (the single ones and semi-attached) and the career momentum (as if I can see it as an advantage!). Advance Happy Valentine’s everyone! C’mon, give everyone some loving. Smile at strangers. And who knows? They might get a little kinder to a miserable wallflower like you and even buy you a drink out of pity. Har har.
Who’s miserable? I didn’t say it was you. I didn’t say it was me either. But for Christ’s sake, don’t be a wimp and send me flowers! 
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I was the worst bully bratinella during my grade school years and there’s only one reason for becoming such a badass. It was a sort of a vengeful act for being bullied the moment I stepped into elementary school. That time, since you know how kids usually act during the first day - shy and weak, I’ve allowed him to get into my nerves and boss me around. I have allowed him to push me to the limits but now I have him to thank for unleashing the devil in me. After I rammed him over the gutter full of goo, and yelled “you’re so disgusting!” in front all those kids laughing at him - it shoved him out to the end of his career in Bullying 101. I took over his place. I’ve been into an average of, if my memory serves me right, 8 major fist fights and had been suspended for verbal abuse. And yes, I had my share of bruises, scratches and most of all, lacerated pair of lips.
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When I was about 4 or 5 years old, while my brothers were busy murdering house rats, lizards and salamanders in the backyard, I was having a kick out of reviving the almost severed tiny animals. You could just imagine how weird I was then! I was brave enough to hold bleeding rats, frozen and mangled lizards with my bare hands. Actually, I once brought a poisoned rat back to life and maybe because of his gratefulness, him and his family never bothered me or tear apart any of my belongings - unlike with others. Haha. As I think about it now, I really don’t know whether I can still handle spurting blood or stitching mangled parts of some living thing. That’s why when my relatives used to ask me what I want to be when I grow up I always say, “A surgeon (not just any sort of doctor!)”.Eventually, I found out I am not deadset to pursue it and left that dream for something else that brought me to the place far from what I originally imagined then. Haha.
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I used to shed tears at least once a week. Seems to me, crying has always been an effective therapy that I willingly indulge myself in. There’s always a reason why I do so, I don’t cry just to relieve stress but to take away whatever chronic emotional pain I’m feeling that even I don’t even know where it comes from. Sometimes, it just crashes down on you and suddenly, you’ve become Atlas.
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Even my life, like my personality, is on the extremes. I felt like I have experienced living on top and eating rocks with dust. There had been times when I could afford to spend more than what I earn only in a day (mostly over unnecessary things) and I wouldn’t feel so bad about having to spend that much. And there was one instance when I’ve walked a long stretch of almost 2 kms not because I just felt like walking under the blistering heat of the sun at noon, but because I had not a cent left in my pocket and I had no choice but to get sunburn and swollen feet. See? Anyway, last but certainly not the least…
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Some of you might know this already, but for those who don’t, I get scary hemmoraghic rashes all over my face when I am about to explode into radioactive rage. You better not say or do anything to trigger me or I am going to stab a Parker pen right into your leg (if you’re a worthless moron) or mine (if i care that much about you). Scary,huh? Well, it’s not like I easily fuss over small stuff (maybe at some point of extreme irritability) - because in fact, I am probably one of those people who have the longest patience in history - the most peace-loving even. It takes a lot to make me totally psycho and yes, i do get psycho so you better be careful. You can throw all sort of slapstick or inside jokes at me on days on end and I’d just shrug it off. But never, ever violate my trust. Those who try to betray me get IT. Never say anything bad about the people I love the most or I will forget you all at once and send a Let’s Celebrate card on your funeral. Haha. Of course I won’t kill you.You’re not even worth my time, get real. But anyway, you get the picture.
There you go, Joni.
Now I’m tagging Kangel, Tristan, Alex, Bestie and Beng.
