Scribesmeister v4 (In Zero Gravity)

We all have our favorite topics to talk about and some that we least want to get involved in. Whenever you get trapped in a discussion concerning cheating boyfriends, signs of being in love, fiscal crisis, no-good politicians and whatnot - you are, knowingly or unknowingly, expected to say your piece, an opinion, a word. Either you say something or nothing, people measure you up by what comes out of your mouth and how interested you are in taking a part in the conversation. Sometimes you want to become a smart ass to impress others, to feel superior or just to stun them by blowing off all their fucked up ideas to rest - once and for all. And sometimes you become the person who doesn’t want to make a fool out of himself and shuts up for the rest of the evening just to know what others think, the one who secretly laughs inside thinking how ridiculous people could get beating themselves up to win a debate or the one who acts as if he knows nothing and let others gain control and feel that the power is theirs. Sometimes, I am that person who silently sits back and enjoys my solitary space. And do I care what they think of me? Sometimes. Nothing a sip of frozen margarita couldn’t shake off. Most of the time, I don’t.

“You gain power by pretending to be weak. By contrast, you make people feel so strong. You save people by letting them save you.” - Choke

Issues on love and politics are the favorites among friends and collegues. I think politics is hopeless and by that, it doesn’t mean that I don’t think there’s no hopeless love - but I’d rather hear about tangible human emotion than senseless public acts I already know about. It’s not that I know more about love than politics, it’s not that heartaches appeal to me more than economic failures - because both starts with a deep sense of passion and breaks down as a result of a mistake. It’s just that I believe the world needs to understand more about the art of loving than the practical techniques in polemics. Feelings influence decisions. Decisions affect lives.

I know that it must be the reason why I chose not to pursue law school after college. I hate the way you always have to practice objectivity, throw your opinions away, set your feelings aside, strive to win every case by letting out the so-called truth, take money for every excellent justification you utter to defend other people. You use your money to patch up the errors of your ways, the holes made by constant lying and buy yourself a new set of principles. Wouldn’t that be great if I was a person without a heart and dignity? I am not even fit to be one of those hard-core journalists for crying out loud!

Even at this point, it’s wrong to deny that I was never guilty of letting my mind win over my heart. I don’t let my emotions blind me and I would like to believe that what I do is right. They say that there are no rules in loving and the only truth is what your heart tells you but sometimes I don’t believe in that. When you listen to yourself, you don’t try to determine whether it’s your heart or your mind that talks…you just listen to what you are ought to do and leave it all up to God.

Detaching yourself from your feelings is like killing a part of you to get one chance of saving yourself. And there had been times when I don’t let go of those fatal feelings and let it die in me - each day trying to get through life living with a part of cold, callous and dead emotions.

When you fall in love, everything you know about loving evades you. Everything seems new and glitters magically in your eyes. You are no longer the love guru that everyone seeks advices from; you are the one needing reasons and answers. Objectivity falters as you let your messed up heart rule over you. It takes you to greater heights, spins your world around yet nothing matters in this kind of bittersweet reality - even if you end up on the ground. Alone.

Love and politics, what do I know? I know that vote buying is similar to courting someone, you find out their weaknesses and give that one thing you know they need. And you pray real hard that they’d accept it out of desperation or if you’re lucky, you might find a loyalist who truly believes in you and accept it anyway. I know that it’s up to you how much time, effort and money you want to spend to be loved in return - in that way, you would be able to find out who among them likes more of your time or effort (maybe both) or money or all of it. And then decide which one you would go for. I know that when you present yourself to someone with your future plans, they have to be a part of it. You either stick to your promises or betray them with their trust. I know that you can only do so much until someone gives you a chance to completely prove yourself worthy. I know that none of it would work without mutual trust, reciprocated love, owning up to your mistake and the act acceptance when everything fails. I know that everybody deserves a second chance - and once you get it, it would be a crime to waste it away.

I know that you must give them every right to speak their mind and you have to willingly give them the freedom to choose whoever and whatever they prefer. And above all things, I know…that when you support each other’s dreams, take in consideration their best interests and make them your number one priority - there should be a total act of selflessness. Sadly though, only a few people have the courage to risk everything without the assurance of getting what they’re aspiring for. A lot of people are scared to appear last on the list, to become unsuccessful, to be ridiculed and to go home with a bruised ego and for the serious ones, to lose hope and see their dreams fall apart.

Besides that, I know nothing more. Nothing at all.