Scribesmeister v4 (In Zero Gravity)

“At the end of the day, there are some things you just can’t help but talk about. Some things we just don’t want to hear, and some things we say because we can’t be silent any longer. Some things are more than what you say, they’re what you do. Some things you say cause there’s no other choice. Some things you keep to yourself. And not too often, but every now and then, some things simply speak for themselves.” - Grey’s Anatomy

Take it out on nobody. Just take it out without stopping. When you’re here, it’s always my turn to act nice, say something rude, to ask impatiently…

…to rant in rage, to stay in oblivion, to drown in melancholia and to get high on ecstacy and fool everybody(yeah!haha). Gotcha!

There are days when all you do is try to remember things you shouldn’t forget and days when you keep remembering things you tried hard to get past. But today I remember the day I don’t regret getting caught up in. The lost of a first love.

“I see the memories of your smile
remembering the way things used to be
and now i just watch how you are
fading…”

It was time to drive me home and he played this one. It was the first time I learned that he has a copy of this song, I was surprised and it gave me a good cry. He held me close and told me I was right about what I said, it was the first time he agreed with me. He hugged me tight and pulled away without haste, it was the first time he didn’t look back. It was the first time at the last time when he didn’t make me feel bad about saying goodbye - because it was the right choice. It was the best step. It was what we needed most.

None of the moments I’ve had with him embittered me. I loved him at his best and at his worst. I embraced him with the utmost willingness to take all the blessedness that comes with pain. I made myself aware that there’s a great possibilty of losing in the end even if I know I played it well because really,life isn’t about winning. For me, it’s about taking chances.

I gave myself a chance to love. And now, a chance to be better at it. Whoever comes next would be really really lucky. Haha. And if you don’t think I am worth the effort, you’re better off feeding your ego with false impressions.

“She’s tough. She tries to hide it. She’s difficult. But if you make an effort, she’s worth it.”

Oohh, sooo…am I worth it? Because I can be difficult at times. Most of the time. Now you think I’m scaring you off, huh? Hmm, maybe I am. Haha.

Anyway, happy 1st year of singlehood to me! Thanks to everyone who remembered and greeted me! Haha. Though it gets lonely sometimes, it is incontestable…that I am loving it!