Scribesmeister v4 (In Zero Gravity)

I was supposed to write about another health issue but I figured that I could stop ranting for a day about how sick my life could get sometimes and be excited about my sister having another baby boy. I really am excited and at the same time worried that my world might get even crazier now that I’d be hanging out with three boys. Oh, I don’t know if I had told you about this one time when I had to take care of an 11-month-old baby and a 5-year-old kid (my nephews) while my sister was at Fitness First. While she was sweating it out in the gym and I was sweating it out, too, by running after her kids. You wonder, with my physique, how I manage to carry with one hand and feed a baby by clipping his bottle of milk between my chin and throat to hold it in place (yes, it was stupid not to bring a stroller). You think my other hand was free? Of course not. I was holding a tower of dripping ice cream cone which Ethan, who kept going around in the mall, ordered. I couldn’t call out his name in a scream, the baby would cry. I couldn’t bring the ice cream to my mouth, it would drip on the baby’s face. It’s too stressful being a second, make that a third (my Mom got that place), Mom. Good thing I was sitting down. I wasn’t happy about it and my sister knew. But if I was the real Mom, I’d be more patient than that.

Kids, I love kids. And I don’t care how many times I have to say it. They’re like toys to me. Haha. ^_^ That doesn’t mean that I want to get married and have my own living dolls soon. Oh, no. I just know that someday I’d be an excellent Mom and I’d be 50x better than my sister. Oh, I hope she doesn’t get to read this. Haha. Right now, it’s more than enough for me to spoil their little demons.

Speaking of babies and getting married, maybe I’d choose to tie the knots with a Russian someday. Why? Because they have a special holiday for conceiving babies in Russia, more like a national honeymoon for couples, to add up to its 144.4 million population. Too low birth rate for a huge continent. It’s funny how you can easily get a brand new car, $10,000 or more, appliances, etc by just “giving birth to a patriot“. Not really that desperate to procreate.

Mhmmm, maybe I’ll just settle with a Russian-sounding name, Russian-looking face or a Russian-beer-brand drinker and then content myself with a brand new nephew for now instead of brand new car.

It’s either my insomnia is slowly wearing off or I never really had persistent insomnia (only temporary) - I simply couldn’t sleep when thoughts are overflowing, when anxiety strikes and when there’s something I have to do and yet I am physically unable to.

Lately, days have been dragging me into a normal condition once again - with my new work set up, new timetable I have to follow and schedules I arranged for myself - and being in this state requires not just self-discipline but a lot of motivation source. Do I have just a bit of it? Only one way to find out - I have to try my darndest.

As of the moment, restlessness is another battle to take and I have to appear (at the very least) victorious against negative forces. Hitting the sack as early as 7pm is rather easy for me now, especially with my computer-strained peepers and aching back, but I still have one problem - it’s the other way around whenever I accidentaly got awakened. As soon as I open my eyes, thoughts come rushing back and the ceiling above me is the only thing that remains still from my stare…because my mind goes to an imaginable distance. Focusing on something that doesn’t move ensures reality. Anything that stays where it is even if you keep your eyes blinking, more possible than not, is real.

With that being the case, when restlessness stays in occasions where I am half-asleep or half-awake and a blink wouldn’t let it disappear, it is real. Whether it can be seen as a ghost in my eyes or can be physically felt, you know it’s there. You know what it’s called. You know it never leaves - until you fall asleep again.

Who ever thought of formulating Musicovery is a genius! When you need to pop some energetic music to cheer you up and you couldn’t find any from your downloaded mp3 files, I recommend you visit this site and look for the perfect sounds to match your mood.

Oh, and they have a wide range of music collection, even Counting Crow’s I Wish I Was A Girl (I like!).