Scribesmeister v4 (In Zero Gravity)

Emotionally Constipated

August 22, 2008 no comments

This morning I told my Mom I wanted to get a haircut, a pedi and mani plus a damn massage. I even asked her if she wanted to come with me! She agreed to go to the spa with me this weekend but then she gave me this puzzling and worried look, “Are you okay, darling?” Of course I am, was my instant reply. Why should I not be okay?! Is it wrong to pamper and spend money over yourself once in a while? Should I even waste an opportunity to look and feel good? No way! Haha! ;) So just to set the record straight, I am not depressed nor am I going out on a date. ;) In fact, I don’t want to go anywhere during this 3-day weekend but to the spa… :)

*Somewhere Down The Road is currently playing and is starting to sound like a cat repeatedly scratching a piece of blackboard*

Again, I am perfectly fine. Damn, why do songs like this ruin my day?! And why do I allow it to? How funny is it that when you’re not looking for an excuse to feel good, life reminds you right away that there is indeed a reason for everything? Everytime I stop and wonder why, sometimes I really don’t want to know what’s behind all this…sometimes I just want to sit there and wonder forever, feel utterly confused without even knowing why and just let it hurt until it sinks into oblivion.

When experiencing constipation, the best way is to keep a straight face and no one would suspect.

Idleness in Stillness

June 24, 2008 one comment

Sometimes there is a greater lack of communication in facile talking than in silence.

If you ask me what’s on my mind right now, I’d say there’s nothing. Nothing that you would find interesting and relevant in your lives. So as I speak the nothingness in every nook and cranny of my convoluted mind, remember what I said and remember it’s nothing to you.

I sit here listening to the rythmic clicking of keys as I type this up and the endless ticking of the clock before me telling me it’s time to for lunch. My eyes constantly shift from my pc monitor to my mobile phone noticing that it hasn’t been making any sound lately like it used to. However, it seems to be enjoying its solitude like I do - having longer battery life and good-as-new exterior. It doesn’t look “used” at all, but whenever I don’t look at it I become uncertain about one thing and a thought comes to mind: Does it relish in its insignificance when it’s clearly showing signs of neglect?

How important is having a mobile phone in my life now? Not to mention having a replacement? I could say it doesn’t matter that much to me anymore. But since it’s my only accessory that could make me ignore people while I pretend on texting someone, I keep it close to me. ;) Being an anti-social isn’t exactly a new trend I’m starting on, the peculiarity has long been living in me. In fact, I like going back to my shell every now and again. It has never been a problem with me knowing that those people who are totally in sync with me would understand.

My eyes are now glued to the monitor…how important is this cyberconnection to the world to me? How happy getting a single email update about the lives of my friends makes me? And how do you think I would feel when I get nothing? I won’t feel anything I suppose, but I’d probably just attach a dynamite to my computer and watch a decidedly vital part of my life explode into tiny pieces before me. Ain’t that bad, really.;)

Occasionaly, I’d be wrapped up in silence, in isolation, and in a cyclic motion. My thoughts may mean nothing, but with your comforting words…I don’t feel alone.

Which Sex and the City Character Are You, Really?!

May 29, 2008 no comments

*Just my two cents, I seriously think this poster sucks

Okay so a few days back, a friend told me that she thinks her character match was Samantha Jones and she asked me who was mine. But since I know I’m like no other (haha), I couldn’t identify myself with any of them. Freeze, on second thoughts, I think I have a dash of qualities of Carrie and Miranda in me (when they have finally matured!). Meaning I can be cynical yet emotionally-inclined at times. I am logical, I tend to justify everything, yet when it’s time to let my feelings go - I let it flow like there’s no tomorrow (haha). Telling my heart to act unsympathetic towards my thoughts. It happens, you know, those times when your mind overpowers your emotions and tells you HOW you should feel - to feel numb. And what do you know? It works for me. It’s the mind power. When you’ve trained it for years to work that way, sometimes it’s uncontrollable.

Just to prove that I was right about my guess, I took a few quizzes. ;) Dig this: Nobody really knows me better than myself, but you see, I am no mystery (really now?). You get what you see, just a blueprint of labyrinth on my face. haha.

(more…)

« Previous PageNext Page »


 Get A Dose Of Me