Scribesmeister v4 (In Zero Gravity)

You know what reeks? It’s when the weather is so fine while I am not. You want to get out there and have fun, but you are just too weak to move a muscle and it even hurts when you do. Frankly though, I’ve never felt this wretched ill before because it was more than physical exhaustion and when I say it’s more than that, you get the drift.

Aww, I hate missing people. People come as swiftly as they go and even if you’re almost getting used to it, it pays to take some time to train yourself to detach in the easiest possible way. But whatever I do to master the art of letting go, it’s still like a piss in the wind! Although I swear, I am not going to let these emotions and thoughts take over me or I’ll go cuckoo before the last minute of this heartbreaking song I’m listening to ends.

Okay, I’ll quit blaming my confused senses on my chest and muscle pains, sore throat, chronic sneezing jag and dry cough. I just do feel that everything hurts but my hands that couldn’t get off the keyboard when I was actually wishing that it froze up for a moment to take a break. In that way, I would have a perfect excuse not to communicate how slushy I’m feeling at this hour of the day. But with my hands I feel spontaneous about everything…especially when the only way I could get these pent-up feelings out is through a crappola of uncensored writing!

And before I could stop myself from saying more than what I intended, let me give you a trivia.

Do you know that last July 27th was the 2nd year anniversary of my single-blessedness? And thank goodness I didn’t act like a total klutz when I realized it! haha! You know what I did?! I celebrated with the whole family and lastly, gave in to a a gallon of ice cream to top it all off! Honestly, I suppose that’s what gave me sore throat plus singing Mr. Big’s Just Take My Heart at the top of my lungs! Well, I don’t know…but I’m pretty sure it was not depression that get me to acting crazy because I’m like that ALL THE TIME. I just know that my malady started with a gallon of ice cream and a song that I crooned with my heart out!

Now that we’ve got to the bottom line, I’ve decided that what’s happening with me right now isn’t as bad as I thought. If this is the price I had to pay for a few hours of happiness, I wouldn’t mind paying double the next day…if I only could be happier now. As in right now. But I guess the only thing that could make things better is to get a gallon of ice cream and someone to share it with.

Sometimes there is a greater lack of communication in facile talking than in silence.

If you ask me what’s on my mind right now, I’d say there’s nothing. Nothing that you would find interesting and relevant in your lives. So as I speak the nothingness in every nook and cranny of my convoluted mind, remember what I said and remember it’s nothing to you.

I sit here listening to the rythmic clicking of keys as I type this up and the endless ticking of the clock before me telling me it’s time to for lunch. My eyes constantly shift from my pc monitor to my mobile phone noticing that it hasn’t been making any sound lately like it used to. However, it seems to be enjoying its solitude like I do - having longer battery life and good-as-new exterior. It doesn’t look “used” at all, but whenever I don’t look at it I become uncertain about one thing and a thought comes to mind: Does it relish in its insignificance when it’s clearly showing signs of neglect?

How important is having a mobile phone in my life now? Not to mention having a replacement? I could say it doesn’t matter that much to me anymore. But since it’s my only accessory that could make me ignore people while I pretend on texting someone, I keep it close to me. Being an anti-social isn’t exactly a new trend I’m starting on, the peculiarity has long been living in me. In fact, I like going back to my shell every now and again. It has never been a problem with me knowing that those people who are totally in sync with me would understand.

My eyes are now glued to the monitor…how important is this cyberconnection to the world to me? How happy getting a single email update about the lives of my friends makes me? And how do you think I would feel when I get nothing? I won’t feel anything I suppose, but I’d probably just attach a dynamite to my computer and watch a decidedly vital part of my life explode into tiny pieces before me. Ain’t that bad, really.;)

Occasionaly, I’d be wrapped up in silence, in isolation, and in a cyclic motion. My thoughts may mean nothing, but with your comforting words…I don’t feel alone.

…kicks in at this time of the day so you know what I did? I watched My Sassy Girl for the nth time. That’s only how far my cheesiness could go. Any movie considered cheesier than that is a no goer. So why did I choose this movie? It’s simple, it always makes my eyes well up with tears and it’s good to feel melodramatic sometimes just to check if my lachrymal glands are working and I still get a normal heartbeat. Haha! It actually made me cry the first time even if my brothers were sitting side by side with me while watching it. Boo! Up until now I still think that in that movie, the guy was in an even worse situation compared to the girl. Although if you think about it, they possess one thing in common: they are both emotional masochists. But aren’t we all like that when it comes to loving?

“What is fate? It’s building a bridge of chance for your love.”  (more…)