Must I not look into your glassy eyes,
that pair of sparkling marbles of magic
slowly losing its charm, becoming lifeless,
for obvious reasons unknown to my senses
You keep reaching out to me yet I feel
nothing in your hands, but the coldness that burns
and you pretend to be numb and overlook
that one season in our lives was all it took
to decide whether we want to be under the sun forever
or walk through different seasons until it’s over
But you run towards winter too soon
before it catches up on you,
So you hang in there freezing in time,
dying to become someone new…
Emo emo emo…if you have a low self-esteem, that would explain why “emo” people are somewhat portrayed as some sick suicidal junks on earth - if you know what I mean by that adjective.
Luckily, I am not that type of emotional freak wanting to get attention and physical affection for crying out loud! I don’t walk around with my coal-rimmed eyes in Gothic fashion and giving up high fives with my fellow sickos as we kick start the day with screamo music. Why would I want the world or anyone for that matter to feel my anger, pain and disgust for my own kind? Why would I let anyone suffer and sympathize with me if I am supposed to make people feel better? You need something that would help you crawl out of that hole, not to bury yourself in it.
Yes, I do get my own share of emotional drama like most of the time…but that’s part of the way I am and as much as possible, I never wanted it to show. In stating that, it doesn’t also mean that I just keep it all inside. I do let it out in any way I could think of. I become more productive when I am stuck in a funk actually, because I make myself useful but not when I am down with a fever. As you know, it doesn’t help a bit when you’re being so damn worthless, lying around all the time. Yeah yeah, I actually need to get some sleep by now but I slept from 7-11pm - just woke up for my dinner. And now, I just can’t go back to dreamland again! So you know what I am getting myself busy with at the moment? It’s Kokology - A series of Self-Discovery Tests! 
I’ve always wanted to buy this book but always found no time to get one or whenever I get the time, I don’t have the money. haha! See how strange circumstances are? 
Anyway, the net has given me an alternative…I got myself an e-book! Ha! Freeloader pirate! Anyway, I took some of the tests.. and I’d like to post this one.
Adrift On the Breeze
Can you still remember those long summer days when school was out, you had no responsibilities and there was nothing but time from when you woke up till the sun finally went down? Time for play and adventure, time to daydream and roam. Hours to spend on childhood diversions… flying kites.. watching clouds…blowing bubbles.
Image you are out again on a childhood summer’s day, blowing bubbles in an open field. Which of the following best describes the scene you imagined?
1. The bubbles you blow float away high into the sky.
2. You are blowing hundreds of tiny bubbles through your plastic ring.
3. You’re concentrating on blowing a single enormous bubble.
4. The bubbles you make are carried behind you on the breeze.
Results
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This morning I told my Mom I wanted to get a haircut, a pedi and mani plus a damn massage. I even asked her if she wanted to come with me! She agreed to go to the spa with me this weekend but then she gave me this puzzling and worried look, “Are you okay, darling?” Of course I am, was my instant reply. Why should I not be okay?! Is it wrong to pamper and spend money over yourself once in a while? Should I even waste an opportunity to look and feel good? No way! Haha! So just to set the record straight, I am not depressed nor am I going out on a date. In fact, I don’t want to go anywhere during this 3-day weekend but to the spa… 
*Somewhere Down The Road is currently playing and is starting to sound like a cat repeatedly scratching a piece of blackboard*
Again, I am perfectly fine. Damn, why do songs like this ruin my day?! And why do I allow it to? How funny is it that when you’re not looking for an excuse to feel good, life reminds you right away that there is indeed a reason for everything? Everytime I stop and wonder why, sometimes I really don’t want to know what’s behind all this…sometimes I just want to sit there and wonder forever, feel utterly confused without even knowing why and just let it hurt until it sinks into oblivion.
When experiencing constipation, the best way is to keep a straight face and no one would suspect.
